300 Trips
by Guardian of Hope
Summary: Tremaine Carson has made 300 trips through the Stargate and has an impressive record of achievement, except one thing. AU, Original Characters
1. Most Eligible Bachelor

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1

A/N: This is my first story about Stargate SG-1, and save for the cameos here and in the final chapter, it won't have much to do with SG-1 or the show. I'm still saying it's AU though. It's meant to make fun of 'Aliens Made Them Do It' stories, which I heart but don't write.

* * *

Deep beneath the Cheyenne Mountain, there are levels upon levels of labs, offices, and training rooms where the people of Stargate Command or the SGC prepare for their numerous missions through the mysterious, ancient, alien Stargate. There are also rooms where the SG Teams prepare for their missions, shared between groups, it is in these 'ready rooms' that the true connection of the SG personnel occurs. One particular ready room at the SGC has a very unusual feature in a military base; home to the nine original Stargate Teams, the room is decorated with nine large white boards labeled SG-1 through SG-9, each with a chart indicating just how often the various teams and their members had experienced certain common phenomena including injuries, alien rituals and marriage.

It should be noted that SG-1 had the record on most occasions, and won others on the fact that 'they had Teal'c'. Captain Eugene Kellerman was about to change that. He looked at his second, Derrick Trawick, who nodded. Kellerman stepped onto a bench and whistled loudly.

"What?" Colonel O'Neil snapped from where he was checking his team's gear.

"I want everyone to meet Sergeant Tremaine Carson of SG-8. Trawick, Aguilar, help Carson up."

"Yes sir," Trawick said, he seized Carson's arm, and Aguilar grabbed the other and hoisted the struggling man onto a bench.

"Now, Carson has been a part of SG-8 for a year. He's a good man and a damn fine Marine. Today, however, we are here to recognize Carson for a record. Carson has been on three hundred missions through the Stargate. He has been wounded, he has been on rescue missions, he's been a prisoner, and he's even had to be resuscitated. There are, however, two other occurrences that I would like to draw attention to. The first is Alien Sex Rituals; you will note that his numbers are low. Even compared with SG-5"

"Hey!" Four voices called over the laughter.

"Hay is for horses," Kellerman replied. "Now, the big thing here is that Carson is still single. He has managed to avoid marrying any of the priestesses, princesses or even one of us. As there isn't a one of you that can make that claim, I nominate Tremain Carson for the SGC's Most Eligible Bachelor award"

Shouts and laughter filled the room as Trawick and Aguilar held Carson on the bench. General O'Neill whistled, as soon as silence fell, he called "Second. All in favor?"

The other SG team leaders shouted, "Aye," in unison.

"All right," O'Neill said, "Tramain Carson, you are officially the SGC's most eligible bachelor. We'll get you a t-shirt."

Carson broke free of his teammates, grabbed his tac-vest and vanished into the armory, clearly embarrassed even if he was too dark skinned to blush.

"Is he ok?" Captain Carter asked.

"He's a little shy," Kellerman replied, "it is part of the reason for his numbers. We keep trying to get him to say he doesn't want or like something. His brother said it was a long shot, but we needed to do something."

"Why?" Carter asked.

"Because I don't want to lose him the next time he goes into anaphylactic shock because he didn't ask if there was fungus in the ceremonial food." Kellerman snapped. "One cardiac arrest in a lifetime is enough, and even with EpiPens, the wheezing can be pretty scary."

"Fungus?" O'Neill asked.

"He has allergies," Kellerman replied, holding his annoyance visibly in check.

"Does Tremain know you why you're doing this?" Carter asked.

"Yes, we tell him all the time." He saluted, "Colonel, my apologies, but my team has a date with a wormhole." He grabbed his tac-vest and followed Tremain into the armory, Aguilar and Trawick following him with only a single backwards glance.


	2. Most Attractive Man

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1

A/N: This short piece is a set up to the next few chapters, which is the meat of this story.

* * *

Tremaine strolled into his friend, Dr. Amanda Lawson's lab; the scientist was examining a glowing crystal. "Can we blow it up yet?" He asked, and grinned as she jumped.

"Tremaine! Don't scare me," Amanda scolded him, she looked at her crystal, "This one seems harmless, but it could have been something dangerous." She crossed her arms over her lab coat and studied Tremaine up and down, "You appear to be in one piece."

"I am," Tremaine said, "it was boring, they didn't even try to shoot us or anything."

"Whatever will you say," Amanda replied dryly. "So, you all set for this weekend?"

"Naturally," Tremaine said, "I take it we leave in the morning?"

"Are you going to be able to go?" Amanda turned and pressed a button on her scanner, and the crystal stopped glowing.

"Yes," Tremaine said, "I've been cleared completely by medical, and I've been promised no trouble by Captain Kellerman."

"Good," Amanda said, "If I can't show up to this thing married with kids, I will at least have one of the most attractive men there as my date."

Tremaine looked down, clearly uncomfortable, "As you say," he mumbled.

"Brother, my brother!" Marcus declared as he strolled into the lad, "Welcome back." He flung a t-shirt at Tremaine. "Courtesy of O'Neil, as promised."

Tremaine held up the shirt so that it could be read 'SGC Most Eligible Bachelor' "What is that?" Amanda asked as she tried not to laugh.

"They are acknowledging the fact that my brother is still single," Marcus replied, "which reminds me, Dr. Lawson; you, me, tomorrow night, dinner and movie, right?"

"No," Amanda replied. She hooked her hand around Tremaine's arm, "Your brother and I have plans already."

"Damn, bro, I didn't think you would ever tap that," Marcus said.

Tremaine covered his face with his hand, "And to think, we are actually related."

"No worries," Amanda said, "I don't hold it against you."

"We'd better go," Tremaine said, "we do have to leave early tomorrow."

"Where are you going?" Marcus asked.

"Texas," Amanda replied, "Tremaine and I have a high school reunion to go to so get out of my lab."


	3. Most Annoying Brother

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1

A/N: This has been sitting on my harddrive, so, enjoy!

* * *

"I hate flying," Tremaine commented as he followed Amanda through the airport.

"Why is that?" Amanda asked as she glanced over her shoulder.

"I'm fairly certain it's because I distrust travel that begins with the phrase, 'In case of emergency'."

Amanda laughed delightedly, "You do know that flying is safer than driving?"

"It's faster," Tremaine commented, "that's for sure. So, who is meeting us?"

"My brother Cas," Amanda said, "in the luggage claim area."

"Older brother, right," Tremaine asked, his eyes drifting to follow a group of girls in cheerleader outfits.

"Tremaine," Amanda snapped, punching his shoulder.

"Ow," Tremaine muttered.

"Cas is my younger brother," Amanda replied. She put her hand on Tremaine arm and waved, "although, I'm not sure that I can get away with little anymore."

A tall, muscular young man came out of the crowd with a smile, "Amanda," he said, "what's up?"

"Not much, Cas," Amanda replied, hugging the man tightly. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Cas replied, he looked at Tremaine, "you must be Tremaine."

"He is," Amanda said, glancing over at Tremaine, "Tremaine, this is Marcus, or Cas. Marcus, this is Tremaine."

"Nice to meet you," Cas said, offering his hand.

"You as well," Tremaine said, clasping his hand.

The alert for the baggage carousel sounded, and Tremaine turned to watch the bags appear. He moved through the gathering crowd quickly, his large size and easy grace giving him space easily. "He's quiet," Cas said, glancing down at his sister.

Amanda lifted a single shoulder, "That's Tremaine. He doesn't like to say much of anything, unless he knows the people he's talking to."

"Are you going to tell people you're dating?" Cas asked.

Amanda laughed, "I'm going to do the same thing I do on base. I spend time with him, and let everyone assume what they will."

"Why does that sound like something you learned from Dad?" Cas asked.

"Because he used to say something like that," Amanda said.

"Hey, does someone want to grab one of these," Tremaine interjected, "I need a free hand here." He held out Amanda's dress bag, which Cas quickly took. "Thanks," Tremaine said. He leaned in and scooped up a final bag, Amanda recognized it as his so-called war bag.

"Is this everything?" Cas asked.

"Yes," Amanda replied. "I packed light." She headed for the exit, ignoring the look between her brother and her friend, even though she could almost hear them thinking "light?"

"I parked just across the street," Cas said, speeding up to walk beside Amanda, "rock star parking."

"Great, let's go!" Amanda said.


	4. Most Amusing Incident

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG1 or anything associated with it.

A/N: This is probably my last popular story, so I decided to go ahead and end it. If anyone's still reading, go ahead and tell me what you think. To help you remember Marcus is Tremaine's younger brother.

* * *

Marcus glanced around the ready room for a moment, "I got an interesting phone call," he began conversationally, eyeing Trawick.

"What about?" Trawick asked, catching.

"Dr. Lawson's little brother Cas called me." Marcus said, "And told me the funniest story I've heard in a while." He smiled at Trawick, "About Tremaine."

"You have my attention," Kellerman said.

"Did you know that Texas, where my brother is currently visiting, has a law that states more or less that introducing a person in public as your spouse three times means that you are married to that person?" Marcus asked.

"No way," Trawick said, laughing.

"Oh yes," Marcus replied, grinning and relishing the reactions he was getting. "Apparently while escorting Dr. Lawson to the reunion, my brother drove off a rather obnoxious woman by asking how she knew his wife. Later, at the grocery story, he made another man back down with a similar statement. The third time, Amanda; that is Dr. Lawson, got some demented ex-cheerleader to run by demanding to know what she was doing with her husband."

The laughter from SG-8 and SG-4 was loud enough to attract even more attention from the people around them. "What's going on?" O'Neil asked.

"Remember Sergeant Carson, sir?" Kellerman said after he managed to calm himself down some. "SGC's most eligible bachelor?"

"What about him?" O'Neil said.

"Well," Marcus said, "he made three hundred trips through the 'Gate single and had to get married by accident in Texas!"


End file.
